THE NARRATIVE

TheNarrative

WELCOME to the SEC EXPOSED WORLD PREMIER SNEAK PEEK TEASER SPECIAL EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW of The Narrative… the HIT ESPN series returning this 2015 college football season!

From the SEC-Shill network that brought you such cultural icons as Skip “Horny for Tebow” Bayless, Michelle “Leave the Money on the Dresser” Beadle, Chris “Don’t Call Me Biased” Fowler and Phyllis“CooCoo for Trailer Wheels” Finebaum… comes the series you will wish you had never seen… THE NARRATIVE!

Send the inbred kids outside, lock the trailer door, pull up the beer cooler, pop out the TV trays, tear open a bag of pork rinds, peel back a can of spam, and hold onto your jorts! Because THE NARRATIVE Season Premier is only days away!!!

In the season premier of The Narrative, SEC teams will be overrated in the preseason as usual… but the narrative won’t end there!!!

Watch as ESPN repeatedly touts their most exciting FPI poll in recent memory… a poll that through convoluted, poorly transparent metrics places nearly the entire SEC in the Top 15, even listing such annual 5 loss bed-wetters as Tennessee and Arkansas in their Top 10! Shirtless snaggle-toothed rebel-flag-waving acronym-chanting inbreds take to the streets firing their shotguns in the air as celebration of this momentous time in sports (despite the fact none of their teams have even played a game yet).

Not deterred by the SEC going 1-6 against the nation’s top out of conference teams over the previous 3 year bowl span, you will marvel at how much the sheeple sports media eats up ESPN hype of the overrated conference…

Watch the infectious homerism spread like the Ebola virus as 10 SEC teams are then placed in the AP media’s Top 27, despite this being a conference that went 0-4 against 10-win teams in the previous bowl season… a touching moment prompting the first controversial uncensored masturbation scene of the season involving ESPN executives standing in a circle around a large shrine depicting the divine image of their Lord and Savior, Nick Saban…

Alabama is given the #3 AP ranking, hinting that #1 Ohio State is the best team in the land at first… until SEC Homer media reminds you Alabama plays nine (over)ranked teams compared to Ohio State’s one… setting the tone for the Tide to leapfrog the Buckeyes by week 4…

[Episode 4 SCENE: ESPN analysts throwing their hands up professing “Well what do you expect, Ohio State doesn’t play anyone and Alabama plays 9 ranked teams”… scene cuts away to AP media voters giggling giddily as they wipe their chins.]

Watch this season on The Narrative as ESPN’s doting media sheeple assure, through over-bloated preseason ratings, that every SEC game gets more attention and recognition to empower their SEC dominance rhetoric in time for the playoffs…

See all the feel-good stories on College GameDay about deaf SEC players who find a way to excel despite not hearing a snap count, or illiterate SEC players who finally learn to read and take the time to teach others… watch as these types of sleep-inducing College GameDay stories successfully drown out the REAL stories that ESPN refuses to report, like the fact that 11 of the 14 SEC programs are in the Top 25 college programs with the most arrests over the past 5 years!!!

Watch as SEC Coaches whine in interviews about the grueling schedules they face… failing to mention the fact that SEC conference teams play fewer Power 5 teams than any other conference by far…

P5 Scheduling Graph 2015

Watch Steve Spurrier profess to Finebaum that SEC fans should be outraged that Ohio State plays such “easy” Big Ten teams in their schedule… failing to mention that last season Big Ten’s doormat team Indiana beat the eventual SEC East Champ Missouri in their OWN HOUSE one week before Missouri beat Spurrier’s team in HIS own house…

Hear ESPN pundits declare that the ACC champ should be left out of the playoffs this season due to this being the “weakest” of the Power 5… despite the fact that that piss poor conference went 4-0 against the SEC East in the final week of last season!!!

Watch as ESPN talks endlessly about FSU’s “off the field issues” despite the fact that at least 5 SEC teams each had more arrests than FSU in the 2015 offseason…

Hear ESPN analysts give repetitive big speeches about FSU and Baylor coaches needing to take accountability for player behavior, while not mentioning LSU coach Les Miles reinstating players with pending domestic violence charges…

In a very heartbreaking special episode of The Narrative, watch the touching scene as a team of dirt digging bottom feeder ESPN “investigative reporters” hold each other in a tearful sad embrace in a Tallahassee courtroom moments after yet another attempted malicious setup by someone with ties to an SEC program fails to put away an FSU star…

Watch as ESPN analysts make references all season to Baylor’s “embarrassment” while ignoring an even MORE embarrassing Tennessee rape scandal involving multiple football players that was so egregious that it had attracted the attention of the Feds…

Listen to ESPN talking heads debate whether the USC coach should be fired for his drunken public display while pretending that Gamecock Coach Steve Spurrier hadn’t done the same thing at a 2013 press conference…

Hear lectures about the character problems at various non-SEC programs with no mention of the Vanderbilt gang rapes or various recent Ole Miss and LSU domestic violence cases…

Amidst all the not-talked-about SEC player crime drama, don’t miss all the exciting pigskin action… and the mind-numbing Narrative that follows!!! Hear how Bama “grinds out” close wins each week against the nation’s most amazing electrifying teams, while Ohio State and TCU “escape” upsets by random terrible teams in some other horrible conferences…

Watch week after week as (INSERT RANDOM OVERRANKED SEC TEAM HERE) jumps undefeated teams in the polls who didn’t exhibit enough “Game Control,” as dictated by the all famous SEC financial partner, ESPN…

Watch as ESPN releases a mid-season FPI poll that has 4 SEC teams in their Top 4, convincing a brain dead sports-media as well as the NCAA/ESPN payrolled CFP Committee that multiple teams belong in the 4 team playoff…

And in a cliffhanger MUST SEE The Narrative season FINALE, watch as ESPN makes one more final late pitch to try to convince the CFP clown committee to take TWO SEC teams! You won’t believe what happens!!!!

You won’t wanna miss The Narrative! Critics are already raving:

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Take a look at this steaming pile of crap, folks… Whoa MOMMA!” -Brent Musberger

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This upcoming series is an embarrassment! Although I don’t have all the facts yet...” -Kirk Herbstreit

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This horseshit pissed me off so bad I poisoned all of Auburn’s trees again!” -Harvey (the @SEC_Exposed Bitch)

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FUCK YOU!” -Phyllis

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I’d rather rip my heart right out of my rib cage with my bare hands and throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die… than watch one more minute of this!” -Weird Al

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This is the biggest bunch of bullshit I’ve ever watched! I just shot my TV screen!” -Elvis

The Narrative… coming this weekend to a bankrupted ESPN network provider near you!

THE NARRATIVE 2015 SEASON TRAILER: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yv5hqjBfrLU

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38 thoughts on “THE NARRATIVE

  1. Just wait until ESPN and the playoff committee continue spouting their “SEC strength of schedule” nonsense as justification for having one or two SEC teams in the playoff again — despite that supposed “strength of schedule” being based entirely on the vast over-ranking of SEC teams before the season even starts. A game of SEC leapfrog, anyone?

  2. How many flavor-of-the-week SEC hacks will ESPN tout as Heisman favorites throughout the season as part of the “Narrative”? ESPN hype already gave Heismans to Trent Richardson and Marc Ingram, two of the worst Heisman winners ever.

  3. dont you know, reggid, alabama has the fpi strength of schedule crown because they play soooo many SEC teams after those teams have a bi! Which is hard, cuz its the SEC, and everyone is so good, except Vandy, but they would be like conference champs in any other conference, cuz they all play each other, cuz they are so good, cuz they play fast and hard, and its so tough. Seriously tho, did you see what meyer came up with…..whaoooo. Ohio st still the team to beat!

  4. Not only are the sec teams ranked so high in order to enhance all the sec teams strength of schedule, but they overrank the out of conference teams that the sec plays. How can they justify ranking Az St at 15? What the hell did they do to earn that rank? Now tamu looks great and jumps into top 20 for beating the #15 team.

  5. Two more SEC coaches were whining about OSU’s schedule and chanting even louder about all the “ranked” teams SEC teams have to play — that brings the total to at least 5. And magically, all these coaches’ comment mirror almost word-for-word the comments of ESPN hacks. Why, geez, it’s almost as if they were all given a script or something . . . or were all following a deliberate narrative . . .

  6. Holy Cowturd, have you seen the new ESecPN spot for college football? Not even hiding it anymore.
    Claiming Alabama has the toughest schedule in college football…
    And why? Because they played a Melvin Gordon-less Wisconsin in Jerry world?
    Mark this down- that was supposed to be LSU in Green bay. LSU deferred until next year. That will definitely give them enough time to buy out of the game. 1.8 million to buy out of a scheduled game, another million to whoever played LSU Saturday, and another million for whatever Presbyterian team LSU replaces Wisconsin with next year, instead of honoring the agreement and getting paid 1.8 million.
    No wonder ESecPN is going broke.
    Meanwhile, Alabama jumps a spot to #2 for beating Wisconsin, because TCU didn’t blow out Minnesota.
    Well, at least TCU had the balls to show up.
    Won’t see the SEC doing it anytime soon.

    I can’t wait to get Alabama in Pasadena.
    I fucking cannot wait. Kiss that FSU transfer QB goodbye.
    I despise those deck-stacking bastards now.

    • Urbs Ticker, can you please give it up anout Minnesota already, who just got blanked 27-0 by Northwestern, who beat ball state 24-19 the previous game (not to mention ball state lost to aTm 56-23, which was 49-3 at halftime, just for perspective). And for crying out loud, if only Melvin Gordon had played the game against Alabama, whose starters sat out the 4th quarter and who ran Henry only 13 times….gosh, if only. Just give it up already. If they played tomorrow, it would be worse for Wisconsin.

  7. Some asshat named McMurphy just sent this condescending tweet:

    “The SEC doesn’t know how to win on the road. That’s why Texas a$m just did it in Houston”

    Stop, Forrest-
    That’s the equivalent of Ohio state playing Oregon state in Cleveland and calling it a “road game”.
    Simpleton.

  8. It’s actually quite easy to understand why SEC chanters even root for their supposed in-conference rivals — because incest permeates every aspect of life in the South.

  9. This site is so informative. I never really realized why SEC seemed so favored but after reading your objective data, it really does make sense. I cried laughing on your segment of “The Narrative”, so true! HAHAHA! They blame OSU for their scheduling but they can’t control conference scheduling. SEC’s nonconference opponents are embarrassing and I did always wonder why they brushed that IU win over MIzzou under the rug. Typical lobbyists…

  10. Auburn losing at home at the half to an FCS school. LOL. They looked horrible last week, too. Remind me — why are they so ridiculously highly ranked? Oh, right — “the SEC.” Can’t contradict the narrative.

  11. Auburn gets taken to OT by a division 1AA school after an unimpressive win over Louisville. Louisville loses today to Houston (+14 underdog). Auburn will still probably retain their ridiculously high ranking. I’m sick of this crap.

  12. SEC Teams are so so good. The Auburn Paper Tigers are a really really good team and their strength of schedule is one of the toughest and is through the roof just like Arkansas. It is unfair for the SEC to have to play so many tough teams.

    SECSECCHoke

    • Arkansas losing at home to Toledo just proves how great Toledo must be, so it proves that Arkansas is still a great team. They deserve to move up to the Top 10. S-E-C!

      • Reggid – There is plenty of room to get more SEC teams ranked higher and even ranked for the first time since Tennessee lost and Mississippi State got ranked just for increased strength of schedule for LSU’s resume. Florida is next up to be ranked and it would have been South Carolina but the meat grinder of SEC competition (Kentucky) got the best of them.

        SECSECSECChoke.

        I just wonder if Arkansas gets dropped from the top 25?
        10 Bloated SEC ranked teams = SUPER EXCITING CONFERENCE. SEC SEC SEC. NOT
        There is no end to the insanity.

        One reason I hate the SEC is – I had the misfortune to turn on the radio an hour after the Auburn vs Jacksonville State game and the radio announcer was going on and on about how good Auburn’s win was. This is very similar to when Georgia barely beat Tennessee in Knoxville 2 years ago. Georgia that year already lost to Clemson and 2 hours later the radio announcers were going on and on and on about Georgia’s amazing finish.
        Another Reason I hate the SEC is – Later today I tuned to the Alabama game on the radio driving home and the announcer are just so stupid. The announcer said that a 13 yard loss was no worse than a 12 yard loss. I couldn’t even begin to understand this Alabama math.

  13. Are you guys ready for the Tigers vs Tigers or the Paper Tigers vs the Paper Tigers (LSU vs Auburn) next week?
    I for one can say I’m not because both of these SEC West teams are garbage. I can predict the BS that will ensue in the Polls and the whining about the strength of schedule and how the SEC is so so strong from Top to Bottom. I am getting nauseous just thinking about it. The winner will be catapulted to Super Hero status while the loser will still be in the top 25 or clear out for 4 more SEC teams to appear in the top 25.
    It really looks like the SEC is at all time low. How in the world did SEC teams rise so high in the polls before a single game was played. WOW.

    The Paper Tiger match up will used as a platform to build up ALAAABAMA and the SEC SEC SEC — Choke.

  14. So, the first 3 SEC frauds are out of the Top 25 (at least temporarily). A good start, but other than as a means to artificially inflate Alabama’s strength of schedule, can somehow tell me how in the hell Ole Miss is ranked at all, much less ranked so highly?

    To recap, to end last year, Ole Miss lost 4 of its last 5 FBS games, including getting crushed 42-3 in their bowl game.

    Going into this year, they have a new QB, and their two wins so far are against an FCS school and a Mountain West team that went 6-8 last year.

    So how the Christ is Ole Miss #15 in the AP poll, and #1 in the ESPN FPI? It’s a joke.

    • Yep — obviously, it’s the same reason that trash Auburn team is somehow still ranked in the Top 20 — just to artificially inflate the SEC’s supposed “strength of schedule.” Just wait until the teams that beat them get a big boost from a “quality win”. The polls’ game of SEC-leapfrog continues . . .

  15. Wow, this is like group therapy for some of you…just a bunch of ranting and hating going around. Do you all even enjoy college football anymore???!!! I mean really, though???!!! Funny that some of you take such delight in some SEC games but none have negatively commented on OSU’s performance against vastly inferior teams (but all of which, I’m sure according to you all, would run the table in the SEC)….hmmmm, I wonder why that is (and nothing about MSU against Perdue, or the nonsense in the Pac-12)? I get it, you aren’t really interested in being a college football fan as much as you are hating a specific conference. So since we are getting to that part of the season where teams have to play each other in conference, are you all going to just go quiet for a while around here? I mean, that part of the season doesn’t prove anything, right? I mean, now that teams like Bowling Green are out of the way (oh wait, they beat two P5 teams in the Big 10 while losing to lousy old Tennessee 59-30). LOLOL. Anyway, when Ole Miss and Memphis play in a couple weeks, I will be rooting for Memphis, because I am a college football fan, and I have FUN watching college football. So you see, I am not here to just blindly support the SEC. But you guys are probably beyond all that.

    • Is there a big movement constantly screaming how the PAC12 is “the best conference?” They didn’t even do that when USC was dominant so your question seems silly. The PAC12 isn’t being ceded an automatic spot in the college national championship game or CFP.

  16. Hey, in all seriousness, someone please go to my last comment in the “Role of scheduling …” and explain to me how the Big 10 OOC schedule is all that spectacular. I mean, ill give you that there has been some good competition, but you all blow the rest and some of the secs attempts to play OOC way out of proportion.

    • Trolls like me?l!!!!!! This website and pretty much everything in it, comments included, is one giant trolling operation, some of the commenters on here are commenting during SEC games about why they think SEC teams suck. Do you think I watched the Iowa game or PSU game yesterday, or any other Big 10 game for the purpose of identifying a talking point so that I could post a comment somewhere about how much the Big 10 sucks? No. But that is exactly what some (probably most or all) of you are hoping for on a weekly basis. This website is an incredibly biased hate rant against the SEC, seeming to be mostly by Big Ten supporters, which itself is a little odd considering you are cheering for a conference and everybody but a conference (SEC). It pains me to further comment on this website because I feel like it is a waste of my life. Clearly, nobody is interested in objectively discussing college football. The foregoing article generally and immaturely insults everyone in the southeastern United States at least twice. That’s a sign that the author is going off the deep end and making cursory remarks, not well-developed arguments. And for the record, exactly what “fun” are you going to have with me? What facts are you hoping for? I already told you I’m rooting for Memphis against Ole Miss, which could only hurt the SEC’s image. There is nothing you can assert, based on reality or belief, which will bother me. But if you want to come as close as possible, maybe criticize my willingness to further comment at length on this website, despite loathing the act of doing it.

  17. Just football fans here. We love all the good match ups….Just think the sec is over-hyped to the point of craaaaaa! Stick around tho….you sound like and SEC chanter…We have lots of fun clowning you folks… We will see how the season pans out….and if an SEC team wins…then cool… but we think its stupid to chant for a conference. And that is what southern fans do cuz most of their teams suck so they have to be regional coat-tail riders. We know you lurk and check out our post cuz your scared the image of the SEC is becoming tarnished. Its ok if you scare to talk football.

    In terms of memphis verse ole miss—–go to hell ole miss—–go state—I need more cow bell…..ya’ll know what I mean….don’t be ugly now…we are just havin a little fun with you chanting folk…..

    • Mick, where you at?….This is how we have fun with you lurking trolls–Micky. …Joey! I know you still check in every once in a while!!!

  18. So Ole Miss starts the year out ranked 17th (because the SEC has to have a ridiculous number of ranked teams.. Right?) and then – a couple weeks later they go and beat the #2 ranked Alabama – so they jump to # 3?!?
    A couple weeks later they lose to #25 Florida (because … This may sound familiar.. the SEC has to have a ridiculous number of ranked teams.. Right?) – so they fall to 14 and Florida jumps to #11 (are you kidding me?!?)

    Today- they (Ole Miss) got exposed – and truly showed us how big and bad the SEC is… by MEMPHIS!?

    I am so sick of this “put as many SEC teams in the Top 25 BS” so they can just switch places when one beats up another.

    Is it just me or does anyone else think this is a bunch of crap?!?

  19. Pingback: SEC Bias Returns With A Vengeance As The College Football Playoff Committee AGAIN Caves To ESPN Propaganda | SEC Exposed

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