[Article Below Submitted by SEC Fan as part of bet lost by SEC Exposed Editors]
I told them SEC haters at the start of the season that we would win it all again! SEC Exposed bet us on Twitter that we wouldn’t back in August, but if we did, they’d let me post an article on their page! So here it is y’all! Time to make them yankee taters and west coast haters eat crow! THAT’S RIGHT SEC EXPOSED, WE JUST PUT YOU ON YOUR ASS ON YOUR OWN WEBSITE!
THE SEC IS THE GREATEST FOOTBALL CONFERENCE IN THE ENTIRE PLANET EARTH! And I don’t wanna hear these haters EVER say otherwise AGAIN! I knew the last two years were flukes! Our boys were just distracted and such on account of draft grades and physical exhaustion from having to play each other all season long. Nobody else understands us because they play in panzy ass conferences with soft teams, whereas we play in an professional caliber conference full of teams that could make the NFL playoffs each season. It wears a team down to play so many hard games each season like my SEC teams do! This season though, we was motivated! We joined forces like the Avengers before bowl season and decided to go 9-2 this bowl season to show once and for all who rules college football! Every other conference sucks! SEC RULES!
My team is Arkansas. (I had went there for school for a while.) My Razorbacks put the smack down on Kansas State, proving once and for all that the SEC OWNS the Big 12! Them early season losses we had to Texas Tech and Toledo or whoever don’t prove nothing by the way! Our team was caught looking ahead at that gauntlet of SEC West teams they had to play. When they are motivated, my Hogs can beat most any NFL team if they wanted to! WOO PIG SOOIE!!!!
I love Arkansas and all, but SEC is my conference! Y’all can laugh about it all you want, but a win for one of us is a win for all of us! You see, here in the south, SEC and Pride are synonymous words! Them other SEC teams are our brothers and they have been since the war of northern aggression. We might beat up on each other all season, but when the chips are down, we go to bat for each other. And last night the chips were down baby! We kicked Clemson’s ass like our redheaded step child! The ACC is our BITCH! Roll Tide baby! The SEC is KING AGAIN!
And don’t tell me about the Big Ten! We crushed Michigan State 35-0! And one of their best teams was Northwestern, and we whipped their ass too! We own the Big Ten!
Y’all got nothing to come back at us with because this season we proved y’all WRONG! All you can do is make incest jokes and such. I find that quite offensive, because my mom and dad are cousins. Their love is true and pure, and if they hadn’t gotten together, I wouldn’t be here today to cheer on the best conference in the world! Y’all are hypocrites! You probably support Bruce Jenner dressing up like a chick and turning into a homo, but you would begrudge siblings or cousins being in love when their love is pure and one with God? Let me ask you this, haters. If “incest” is so bad and disgusting, how do you think man couldn’t gotten here without it? Huh? Adam and Eve had kids who had to procreate with each other and that lineage led to us. If you make fun of incest, you are making fun of God. So enjoy burning in hell, SEC haters! Why don’t you haters educate yourself! It’s not called incest! Its called “genetic sexual attraction” and it is real! Google it and learn about it, unless all you like to read about is queers hooking up! By the way, it was Adam and Eve, NOT Adam and STEVE!
And don’t go bringing up Michael Sam to me. He was recruited to Mizzou when they was still Big 12. SEC only has real men on their teams!
We only recruit the BEST here in the SEC. All these kids know, if you wanna get to the NFL, you should come play in the best conference! Now if you suck when you get to the NFL, that ain’t our fault. All I said is we can get you there by playing on our teams. What you do when you get there is up to you.
In conclusion, I’d like to thank all the awesome media folks who stood by us despite SEC Exposed and their army of idiots trying to blaspheme our great conference. Guys like Clay Travis, Paul Finebaum (when he wasn’t trying to placate the Big Ten homers), Booger McFarland, Chris Fowler and the awesome ESPN gameday crew… y’all had our backs even when the naysayers looked like they had won! The SEC dynasty is forever! SEC Exposed needs to delete their account, because next year we will be even MORE dominant and won’t lose a SINGLE out of conference game! So you got nothing to EXPOSE other than our arrest records, and who cares about that! Next year our domination will be to a new level, and I GUARANTEE at least two SEC teams in the playoff because we just proved no other conference is worthy to be there anyway! I already bought Alabama and LSU home season tickets and will be attending the early season game to watch Ole Miss kick Florida State’s ass! I’ll be there wearing my SEC shirt with my Arkansas hat and Alabama National Championship coat. And if you don’t like it you can eat my jorts!
SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC!